The Blue Ball Report

Empower YOUR Eros for Making Love Transcendent with wit & wisdom from Superfvck, the sexy queer superhero, and Digger - sex & relationship coach.

Panspermia Glamarama

Panspermia. Sounds like a sex club for those with a fetish for cooking shows or maybe that sexy half goat god dude, but no…. And this next part is actually true (look it up, for realz) – panspermia is the possibility that life travels across space, possibly even between galaxies, aboard space dust, asteroids, meteoroids, and Mercedes benzes. Such intergalactic transportation vehicles can form from planetary collisions and eruptions. Most species of life could never survive the harsh vacuum of space, but there are a few species of tough little microscopic badasses that can, and in this way spread life across the Universe. There is mounting evidence supporting this possibility – we have even found these tough little buggers chillin outside spacecraft. Life on the Blue Ball planet itself may have been imported from across the galaxy. To think: your SuperFvck may actually be related to these far-flung BlueBallers! Looking at the comet in this photo (credit NASA/MSFC/MEO/Cameron McCarty) provides a clue as to why this theory was titled ‘panspermia’ but isn’t that a bit misogynistic to credit the male sperm and ignore the female eggs? Why not call it PanOvium? Or PanFriedEggs? Or ToughLittleBuggersSpreadingLifeAcrossSpace? What would you call it? I would call it AMAZING.

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