Queertopia is such a fantastic place to pass the time while refueling and refashioning. I went to a Straight Mate Parade the other day. The queers have been on this moon long enough to birth babies who have now grown up – some of whom have heterosexual tendencies. They are treated mostly with love, kindness, and acceptance except for the occasional bitter queen who is promptly corrected for rude behavior. Intolerance isn’t tolerated here. But the baby hetes are in such a minority they find it hard to find each other, so special events are organized to bring them together, while adoring Queerdos smile on. Straighties can choose to stay on Queertopia or relocate to the nearby homophobic Beige Ball planet but they rarely do – Queertopia is pretty sweet even for the unqueer. And yet even here in paradise, we can feel the effects of the sex-negative Blue Ball across the galaxy. Just the other day I had to rescue a poor young man from masturbatory shame. I know right?! Unimaginable to us Gametes that there could be such a thing! OK, maybe if you jerked off into the mashed potatoes, that’s rude enough to be ashamed of, but everyday wanks? HUH?!? Spooge Whiteshaft, the intergalactically famous fashion designer, has been vigorously updating my look with EVEN MORE GLAMOUR – what do you think?
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