The Blue Ball Report

Empower YOUR Eros for Making Love Transcendent with wit & wisdom from Superfvck, the sexy queer superhero, and Digger - sex & relationship coach.

Blue Bits Buh-BYEE!

My Tekdik probo-sensor has a bluebit detector which disperses a din whose volume correlates with the intensity of the blue bits within its sensory path. Bits is a generic term for reproductive parts whether they are male, female, or somewhere in between. When pointed in the direction of the Blue Ball (to which we are hurling) its intensity makes it nearly indiscernible from that of passing sufferers aching for rescue. 

Blue balls are not a myth, nor are they exclusive to men. The female equivalent ‘Blue Vulva’ sounds more like a delightful vodka or some exquisite material for a smoking jacket but it feels more like a slowly intensifying ache. This condition results from blood rushing to the bits (aka genitals) where it is held during sexual arousal (aka blood rushes to your junk when action gets steamy). This blood is normally dispelled after ejaculation (aka ‘cumming’). However, if arousal is sufficient and without release (no cum) then the blood can stay trapped there, giving your bits a bluish tinge and ache. It can even get worse for men – if you “edge” for an extended time. ‘Edging’ is stimulating your genitals (aka beating your meat) continuously at the verge of, but not actually, ejaculating and then maintaining that ‘edge’ for some time. In that process your body is preparing to to ejaculate – so fluids start preparing in your prostate gland. 

If you don’t know where your prostate is well then get a move on to the inter webs and look it up because it is quite a fun place for your finger to find! Stick your own middle finger up your own middle butt and curl that middle finger, like when you might use a finger to beckon someone to come here. The prostate is a walnut sized gland whose shape can be felt through the wall of your poop tube, usually atop your beckoning finger. It is easier to feel when it is full of fluids during arousal than otherwise. Put your finger there and do repeated finger curls when you are near ejaculation for an entirely different orgasmic sensation. Highly recommended.

Sorry, I digress. If you don’t release these fluids by ejaculating then the prostate can become overloaded, developing ‘congestive prostatitis’ which is usually temporary but can be seriously painful. Because of this, blue balls can be often “felt” in the lower abdomen (6 pack area), down around the pubic hair zone or even higher – where the prostate is. Ouch! Symptoms can (but rarely) get even worse – eg unable to pee so the bladder hurts, burning pee, gotta pee alot, pain or minor bleeding after ejaculation. All sorts of fun, but at least usually not permanently damaging. 

Many a blue-bit victim has been rescued by my (always consensual) blue-bit-zapper that causes instant ejaculation. In absence of your Superfvck, remember that you have the power to rub one out or you can enjoy a cold shower, cold ice-packs, or an anti-inflammatory drug. Only YOU can prevent Blue Bits! If you repeatedly bring yourself to the brink of ejaculation (the testicles lift, etc) but don’t cum you may get Blue Bits. I recommend to study the Tao of Sex so that you can learn to disperse that energy and fluids and enjoy multiple orgasms without ejaculation. That’s right, dudes, orgasm can be separated from ejaculation and that’s a whole nuther, more advanced story. One step – er: one wank at a time. Good old fashioned masturbation, just like Grandma used to shame you for (but you did quietly in the other room anyway). This time – not quite as fun. And now I bid you all blueless bits, my friendly Gametes. Farewell and fvckwell!

Subscribe to get weekly updates from Superfvck every Wednesday morning. Subscribers get free giveaways, access to Superfvck swag, and other exclusive benefits.

Next Post

Previous Post

Leave a Reply

© 2021 The Blue Ball Report

Theme by Anders Norén